Day to day changes can also throw you off balance and lower your tolerance. An abrupt change in your schedule, a change in eating habits, or a change in work conditions, all accumulatively add up to your personal level of readjustment. When the consequence of any change questions your abilities or resources to succeed, or deal with the circumstances, coping strategies are used to mediate the stressful effects of the event. Effective coping strategies will reduce distress. How well people cope has to do with the meaning they place upon the event, their self-confidence, and the anticipated outcome.

Coping strategies will enable you to keep your cool, stay composed, and efficiently deal with the task at hand. Long term, learning to cope will keep you buffered against disease, and enhance your heath emotionally and physically. The ultimate goal of effective coping is to return to a state of balance, comfort, and productivity.

There are three main coping styles. Problem-focused coping creates a plan of action by gathering information, support, and personal resources to find solutions. Problem-focused coping works well for situations you have some control over. Emotion-focused coping, such as acceptance, healthy expression of feelings, and positive self-talk, manages your distress by changing the attention or meaning placed on the event. When the situation seems too much handle or frightening, escape-avoidance coping creates distance. Escape-avoidance coping can be helpful when used to gather your strength and return calmly to create a plan of action, like taking a break, listening to music, or going on vacation. However, when fear is present along with a lack of confidence, escape-avoidance can take a self-destructive turn to excessive behaviors such as drinking in excess, using drugs, or binge eating. Maintaining a confident, positive outlook toward yourself and the world will enable you to cope effectively and reduce anxiety and fear.

Maintain a Positive Perspective

Change can be seen from two perspectives, as a threat or challenge. If change is viewed as a threat, then feelings of fear, uneasiness, and loss of control are likely to follow. If change is viewed as a challenge and an opportunity for growth, then feelings of self-efficacy and motivation follow. How you view change and assess your own personal resources will determine your emotional reaction and coping strategy. Pay attention to your self-talk:

“Oh no, I can’t handle this! I’m doomed. I’m going to fail.”
Perception of Change: Threat = Fear, Anxiety, Loss of Control

“I can handle this. I have faith things will work out. I will succeed.”
Perception of Change: Challenge = Self-Confidence, Competency, Control

Assess the Change Realistically

Ask yourself, “Is this something I can control or not?” Let go of what you cannot control and focus on what you can. When change is unexpected, the stressful impact is greater. Maintaining a flexible outlook on life will enable you to focus on what you can control.

Accepting there will be bumps in the road will give you a realistic perception of change.
Keep your shock absorbers bouncy! When you encounter a bump in the road, having a rigid approach will give you a jolt when you attempt to drive over it. Maintaining flexibility and understanding life is full of twists and turns will give you enough cushion to readjust more comfortably.

Release and Rebalance

When life throws you an unexpected curve, identify your emotional reaction and take steps to release any tension. Even minor changes can quickly add up to feelings of being overwhelmed. Take action to release your emotions in the moment in a safe way. Rather than spelling out the details of why you are feeling how you are, know you are entitled to your feelings, take responsibility and express them. Using “I statements” keeps you accountable for your emotions, increases feelings of control, and reduces blame or avoidance. Rather than yelling at a co-worker or spouse, write down your feelings, and then summarize how you feel, such as “I feel angry!” Close your eyes and imagine a red ball of anger. Take a deep breath and as you exhale, imagine blowing the red ball far away until it disappears. While we cannot control other people’s actions, or some situations, we can control how we release emotions.

Using soothing self-talk brings about feelings of control, reduces physical stress, and helps you return to a state of balance and peace. Relax, breathe slowly, and center your thoughts. Have a saying you repeat that has a calming effect for you. Like, “Let it go.” “I will get through this.” Stay positive with yourself! Believe in your abilities to cope and make it through. Your own words are very powerful. Repeat self-affirming statements until you feel confident:

“I can do this. I can handle anything. When I get through this, I’m going to celebrate.”

See the Bigger Picture

In moments of change, keep the bigger picture present. A person’s values, commitments, and goals influence how change is perceived. Paint a picture of your life’s plan and acknowledge this one experience, while taxing, will not impede your ability to live, love and succeed. Retaining a sense of competence will glide you through a difficult change.

Build Resiliency

Maintaining your health is an important tool to combat stress and improve your stamina for changes in life. Take good care of yourself and ask for help when needed. Reach out for support. Isolation can make stressful situations worse. Take time in your life to build your boat of support. Surround yourself with positive people, utilize your healthcare professionals, counselors, and join supportive groups. Maintaining nurturing relationships will keep your boat strong and provide additional resources, strengthening your belief in your ability to cope.

Stay Hopeful

Move forward with life. The simple act of taking the first step is often the biggest. Believe in yourself, surround yourself with support, have a plan of action, and follow through. Focus on your strengths, what you do well, and the simple joys all around you. Maintaining hope and faith will give you endurance to persevere through life’s changes. The greatest challenges in life are met with the greatest strengths within you.

I believe in you.

Life Coach Nova
Nova@StepStonesForLife.com

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2008 All Rights Reserved Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This article may be forwarded with appropriate credits included.

Make new goals to care for yourself. Try that Pilates class, take a walk during lunch, have a nutritious breakfast. Rather than focusing on taking away something, focus on adding in a new, healthy addition to your day. By focusing on improvement rather than deprivation, you are starting a positive, nurturing, and self-affirming cycle.

Challenge yourself to accomplish new things. Individuals who find challenges rewarding are hardier in facing obstacles in life. A natural resiliency builds from taking on stimulating challenges. A release of anti-stress hormones occurs through your body after completing a challenging task similar to exercise. Accomplishments make you feel good, energized, and generate positive motivation. Make the effort to expand yourself intellectually and emotionally. Read a new book, take on a new area in work, reach out of your usual comfort zone and try something new and exciting.

Start a Positive Cycle in your relationships. The language you use can persuade others to hear you and generate mutual understanding. Words are powerful. Focus on asking for what you do want, rather than what you don’t. When you use positive communication you are reinforcing your message by creating a visual of the behavior or action you’d like to see. Reinforce the positive qualities you enjoy in others by stating one unique affirmation a day. You will be met with gratitude, appreciation, and positive energy in return. By learning you can influence others, and generate the quality of relationship you would like, you will feel empowered, capable, and positive.

Go and blossom!

Warmly,

Life Coach Nova
Step Stones For Life

Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Business: 949.858.2442

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2008 All Rights Reserved including the right to reproduction in whole or in part of any form. This article may be forwarded with appropriate credits and contact information.

Leonardo Da Vinci states beautifully in one of my favorite quotes:

“Where the spirit does not connect with the hand, there is no art.”
~ Leonardo Da Vinci

Writing with a pen in your hand I have found to be one of the best ways to connect with your creative-self. I encourage my clients to write as much as possible. In fact, my sessions consist more of my clients writing than myself. Words are powerful. The act of creating a story pulls your spiritual energy to the surface.

I encourage you to write freely with a pen in your hand, journal without limitations, discover your creative self, your true self.

“True creativity is born in the soul and rises to inspiration, to be a masterpiece.” ~ Life Coach Nova Reed

“Within your creative spirit you have endless solutions, infinite possibilities, and masterpieces just waiting to be born.” ~ Life Coach Nova Reed

“Pay close attention to whispers of the soul, let them out freely. Be inspired today, tomorrow, and for eternity.” ~ Life Coach Nova Reed

Go and Create Today!

Life Coach Nova

Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 1.877.484.LIFE or 949.858.2442

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2008 Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Contents may be forwarded with appropriate credits and contact information.

Would you like to live fully with vitality, health, and prosperity? The secret to living a content, happy, and productive life is finding balance. Realizing the state of being balanced includes emotional stability, physical strength, spiritual harmony, and the means to decide. The decision to influence or determine the outcome of one’s life by being balanced requires dedication, effort, and fluidity. Just relaxing, getting away, recharging your batteries, while very beneficial, is not enough to achieve living a balanced life. Balance implies a continuous state, a push and pull in equal directions resulting in complete stability to waver any wobbles in life while remaining sure footed enough to succeed.

The concept of balance often arises in my sessions. In fact, most seek help because some part of their life is “out of balance” and the discomfort pushes them to reach out. It is so with your health as well. When your throat hurts beyond toleration, you go to the doctor knowing treatment can alleviate the discomfort. The same is true for disharmony within the family and yourself. Being a Life Coach, I have the fantastic position to offer help at all levels. Whether your life is a little out of balance, or in complete turmoil, I can be of assistance and help you find comfort.

I often think back in my life and recall lessons I’ve learned that have helped me integrate all my studies in psychology, health, wellness, and coaching. One visual that I often picture is walking the balance beam. I was once a competitive gymnast. I loved everything about gymnastics. Using your body to create something beautiful to watch, reaching and stretching outside of what others could do, and finding that perfect state of “balance”. I would get lost in the rhythmic motions and tune out the whole world, focused on movement, balance, and creation. I can recall my coach telling me the one factor that continually put me ahead on the beam was my ability to trust myself, and not be afraid. Living a balanced life reminds me of the same dedication, concentration, and movements on the balance beam.

Imagine a 2 ½ inch beam, on which you will not only walk, but do cartwheels, back-flips, and spin around full circle on the ball of your feet. Managing the challenges of life is a lot like walking the balance beam. You learn very quickly, if you loose concentration, you WILL fall, and guess what? It hurts! So you are motivated to stay on course. Much the same, if you loose focus with your life, it hurts. It hurts physically, emotionally, and financially.

The act of walking the balance beam, and walking a balanced life requires three simple steps:

1. FOCUS

Focus not on the beam itself below you, but directly ahead. Looking ahead in life manifests movement forward, keeps your head up, and creates a goal. Intense concentration requires a knowing of your abilities, concern only for what really matters, and a relaxed energy that guides you so deeply it seems without thought.

2. FAITH

How do you know where to put your next step if you don’t look down? By trusting you know the way to the end of beam. When you reach out to take a step, you hold your arms out for balance, focus on the end of the beam, and gently dip your foot along the side of the beam to feel your placement. As you brush the side of the beam, you feel confidence and deliberately place your foot ahead of you. Faith is having trust the beam will be there, trust in your ability to stay on course, and trust in the outcome.

3. DEDICATION

The beauty of fluidity comes from constant practice. Repeating the same routine over and over until you could close your eyes and still see the end of the beam. Living a balanced life is exactly the same. Practice focusing on your goals. Practice trusting and having faith. Practice holding your arms out, taking steps, and believing in yourself.

I believe in you.

Start living a balanced life. Call or email me to walk a balanced life.

With warmth,

Life Coach Nova

Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Office: 949.858.2442
Toll Free: 877-484-LIFE

START LIVING!!!

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2008 Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part of any form. The contents of this article may be forwarded with appropriate credits and contact information included.

Three Steps To Claim Your Goals:

1. Define

Create a clear definition of what want to accomplish. Your objective is defined clearly and specifically in one sentence. The more specific your goal, the more likely you will succeed. Create an “Umbrella Goal” to title a list of supporting goals. With your Umbrella Goal transform what you want into what you will accomplish.

Example: I want to succeed. – A positive statement, although lacks assertiveness and is not specific.

Umbrella Goal: I WILL succeed. - Now the goal is assertive. You just need to add specifics.

Examples of Specific Umbrella Goals:

1: I WILL succeed at my job.
2: I WILL succeed at improving my relationships.
3: I WILL succeed at improving my health.

Create a list to support your Umbrella Goal with “Transformation Goals”. I work in lists of three with all of my techniques. Using sets of three creates balance by stretching you to name more than one while remaining attainable for reinforcement.

Examples of Transformation Goals:

1: I will increase my customer base by 15% this month.
2: I will be patient and tolerant.
3: I will run 3 miles four days this week.

2. Visualize

Create a picture of your goal. Creating a visual will reinforce and place meaning and significance to your goal. You can create a mental picture such as the finish line at the end of the race, or being on stage to receive an award. Searching through magazines, books, or photos to retain a physical visualization is a great way to cement your vision. Keep your picture where you can see it everyday to reinforce and focus on your goal.

3. Create Purpose

Create a statement to define your purpose and add personal significance to your goals. The most successful people create and claim goals based on purpose not money. Financial success follows passion, dedication, and purpose – the definition of Prosperity.

Example:

My Purpose Statement as a life coach:

“I will be successful helping others create a fulfilled life.”

I follow this statement everyday, and by so doing, the client’s progress becomes my reinforcement. My dedication, passion, and purpose with my clients create meaningful success. Financial success follows my successful work with my clients.

This process is the key to Prosperity.

To begin your path to Prosperity call or email me to begin your life coaching journey today!

Warmly,

Life Coach Nova
Email: nova@stepstonesforlife.com
Call: 949.858.2442
Toll Free: 1.877.484.LIFE

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2007 Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part of any form.

You feel love you never knew you could feel.

You know your way, yet never walked that way before.

You are guided by your love, your devotion, and spirit.

Mothers understand like no else.

A mother comforts hurts with just a look of warmth.

Being a mother heals and mends disappointments of the past,

Filling the tears of life with drops of love with every hug.

You find wisdom, strength, and a purpose for life.

A knowing of what truly is your calling;

To nurture a spirit, to feed a soul,

To enhance security and watch over their health.

Being a mother is the greatest responsibility, and yet the greatest joy.

The bond you have with your child connects you deeper with God.

You can sense your child’s presence like a tingle of an angel blowing down your back.

You know when happiness or sadness falls on them, or when they are in need.

You would gladly sacrifice anything for their contentment and inner peace.

You quest for their fulfillment above and beyond your own.

With just one look upon your child, your heart can overflow,

And remind you of the meaning of life.

Being a mother is God’s greatest gift, a priceless treasure, an all encompassing love.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Warmly,

Life Coach Nova

Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Office: 949.858.2442

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2007 Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part of any form. Blog articles may not be reproduced, feel free to forward the URL to those you would like share.

“I want to be happy.” I hear those words a lot. So many are moving through life just going through the motions and waiting for happiness to just come to them. Interestingly, the definition of happiness includes good fortune or luck, implying there is some element of unforeseen prosperity by chance. How do you fall into the graces of good fortune, luck and happiness? I believe quite deliberately by attending to the spirit, your purpose, and maintaining balance.

Your quest for happiness lies deeply within you stemming from your spirit’s yearning to be present and feel joy. Remaining emotionally present requires letting go of past regrets while holding on to accomplishments, having a solid plan or vision for your future, and remaining balanced.

The state of being balanced includes all facets of your being working together equally creating a pyramid of strength. The shape of the pyramid represents the multidimensional, yet simple form of 3 vertices. Each corner represents an aspect of self. The peak apex of the pyramid represents your spirit; the bottom two corners represent your physical and mental (emotional/intellectual) state. If all three are strong and nurtured, then your pyramid will be strong and full. If one happens to be unattended to, then the pyramid collapses. Picture a weakened or absent spirit; the pyramid would collapse into a straight line. How difficult do you imagine happiness would be to experience while in a flat state?

The presence of joy happens to be all around you. To catch moments of joy, you must be emotionally present living in the now, today, with enthusiasm. The key to living with enthusiasm lies within your creation of your vision, or what I name your Preferred Life. Your vision creates a picture of what exactly you are moving toward; your purpose, a place of fulfillment. Finding your Path to Fulfillment leads you to living your life with happiness, and in so doing, the symptoms of depression, sadness, and lack of joy dissipate.

When you find your path, it’s like magic. Your whole perspective of yourself, others, and life shifts. You will see everything differently. You will find the ability to be happy. The Path to Fulfillment leads to the future without anxiety. The future is created by actively and purposefully creating your life. Trust lights up your Path to Fulfillment like shimmering pebbles of faith. You will notice colors, reflections, and emotions you never experienced before. You will be present for joy to walk with you, arm in arm, as if to share with you the secrets of life.

Happiness will be present in your life as long as you are present to experience and walk with joy. Grace becomes a disposition of life, a presence of good fortune you are actively living while walking your path. Everyone has a Path to Fulfillment where joy, happiness, and purpose join your quest and movement through the world. Each step moves you closer to your Preferred Life, and yet the journey itself will bring you joy in the effortless magnetic pull toward your created destiny.

Find your Path to Fulfillment, and build your bridge to happiness.

Here’s to your journey,
Life Coach Nova

To contact Life Coach Nova:
Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 949-858-2442

Step Stones For Life ©2007 All Rights Reserved

Fear is the root of any disorder. Focusing on eating disorders, fear can override even the most intellectual, attaching onto food, body image, and self-esteem. Fear of Judgment spins the common thread with individuals who have suffered through an eating disorder. The story behind Fear of Judgment gets strength from the natural defense to escape fear and uncomfortable judgment. The diligent, extreme dieter can literally disappear from judgment by becoming and staying thin, sometimes too thin. Weight can also fluctuate drastically up and down adding desperation and harming natural metabolism intensifying the emotional and physical battle to just feel normal. The focus turns from weight, to escaping judgment and fear. The cycle of escaping judgment can be so intense, health suffers, relationships suffer, and the spirit suffers. Fear of Judgment turns self-definition to self-escape and negative self-talk, taking away from emotional presence, joy, and personal growth.

There is always hope in battling eating disorders. If you think of an eating disorder as a manifestation of fear, then the real battle becomes conquering fear. Fear is tricky to spot, until it literally overtakes you. By understanding and decreasing the precursors to fear, such as anxiety, guilt, and shame, you gain insight into how fear works and undermines you. The strongest warrior against fear is your own voice. Defining, accepting, and building yourself provides you with the armour needed to protect you from fear and move through perceived judgment. Fear of Judgment becomes more intense when individuals must turn to others and their environment to define who they are. If your self-definition remains strong, you look inward, toward your heart and soul, warming away the coldness of fear.

Without fear, you are free to be healthy on all levels. Food becomes fuel, and your body becomes a gift. Without fear, relationships improve, your voice will surface, and success will greet you around every turn.

Warmly,

Life Coach Nova

Blast through fear, define yourself, and move through life with success. Contact me for a complimentary consultation.

Don’t forget to visit my Herbal Nutrition Store for a healthy and balanced approach to good nutrition and staying lean and fit. I’m including a special for my blog readers! Enter the coupon code LIFE to receive 10% off your order and FREE shipping over $50.

Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Or call: 949-858-2442
Visit my online nutrition store and get started today to the road to health. Secure online ordering, fast shipping, and personal service:
www.herbal-nutrition.net/nova

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2006 Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part of any form.

Life Coaching is a fast growing helping profession incorporating strategies, techniques, and ideas from philosophy, psychology, business, health, and athletics. The central idea of coaching utilizes the relationship between the coach and the client as a collaborative partnership to illicit creative goals, enhance self confidence, find personal and professional success, and to generate positive, fulfilling relationships. Coaching can have life changing effects with a dynamic focus on the present and future.

What is the difference between therapy and coaching?

Psychotherapy and coaching while possessing similarities are different and separate helping models each with their own value and validity. Psychotherapy is associated with the “treatment” of a particular emotional or psychological issue. Coaching focuses on the client’s resources and strengths creating resolutions through personal growth, alignment of values, clear and decisive focus, and motivation. Psychotherapy is generally past oriented aimed at healing emotional wounds. Coaching is largely present and future oriented with the client’s optimal future as a visionary goal.

Who is a candidate for coaching?

Generally emotionally healthy individuals or couples seeking greater and more meaningful success, or who need help working through a difficult transition or situation.

Do you coach children?

Yes. In fact I find children to be “coaching prodigies” who soak up the positive coaching principals I apply and soar with personal, academic and social success! I do however limit my children clientele under 16 to in person sessions only, as I find art and eye contact which illicts trust to be invaluable tools while coaching these young blossoming lives.

Who is not a candidate for coaching?

Individuals with serious or chronic psychological or emotional conditions, or suicidal tendencies.

What is your background?

My education and background centers around psychological counseling and health psychology. I have a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in Psychology and Social Behavior from the University of California Irvine where I specialized in Health Psychology participating in several research projects and field studies within the School of Social Psychology. I furthered my education and training through the attainment of my Master of Arts degree in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University Graduate School of Education and Psychology. I trained as a therapist, but found coaching to be more congruent with how I work with clients. I am a member of both Coachville and the International Coaches Federation adhering to the guidelines of ethics and practices according to these organizations.

Why should I hire you as my coach?

My ability to bring out your optimal potential remains my greatest asset as your coach. I can help you create the future of your fullest potential, to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled. I encourage you to hire me as your coach because of my extensive educational and life experience background, my understanding of key elements that generate meaning, and my ability to bring out the very best in you!

Creating a Meaningful Life

“The meaning of life is created by our own understanding of our significance, the importance of others, and the collaborative connection we all share.”
-Nova Reed, M.A., Life Coach
Step Stones For Life

Visit www.StepStonesForLife.com for more information on Life Coaching.

Feel free to contact me: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2004 -2007 Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part in any form

I have recently seen “the change” in Stacy. You were right, all the prep and then one day the really obvious change in her thinking, her control of the issues, and the discarding of negative self-talk that was keeping her down.

I too am hugely proud of Stacy, she is turning into quite the focused young adult who now has control of her life. Now I am sure now she will be able to do anything that she wants to do with her life. She has developed this quite strength that comes from knowing her self well, something you have helped her to come to know and take control of.

Nova, you have played such a major role for this part of her life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your sincere help, in fact I cannot thank you enough… You have cared enough to cry with her and gently help her change a little at a time. It is obvious now, life coach for a life change, duh?

You have touched our lives, left your mark of positive change upon us and you will always be remembered for your kindness.

My sincere and deepest gratitude sent along with a warm hug.

Thank you,

Barbara

(Names altered for privacy)

Thank you for your thoughtful words and your permission to share them. I am truly grateful to be a part of the journey.

Life Coach Nova

Contact me: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 949-858-2442

Defining the year of 2007 to mean a new beginning, a fresh start, allows you to leave behind guilt and any regrets of the previous year. Time represents new opportunities each and every moment, every second, every day is an opportunity to begin anew. Defining your goals, remaining motivated, and striving with an optimistic attitude provides the momentum needed to catapult you to a new level in your life. We are all meant to improve, grow, and develop as human beings. Our continued growth signals our gift of life.

By believing life is a gift, you surround yourself with gratitude. Gratitude shields you from negativity, defeat, and low motivation. You have been given the gift of a New Year in which you have the opportunity to make a difference in your own life, and in others. Reach out and grasp the idea that being completely grateful for life, for your abilities, for your loved ones, for the air you breathe, for the food you eat, for you…allows you to not only succeed, but to thrive.

No matter what your personal New Year’s Resolution, incorporating gratitude for what you already have drops the stone of strength deep within you, rippling out to touch new possibilities you had never even seen. Reach, stretch, and be determined to redefine yourself, your career, your personal relationships, and your movement in the world. Focus on making a difference, finding opportunities around ever corner. And consider, for a moment, your New Year’s Resolution would be better served by turning your own focus onto others…

Lead yourself to fulfillment in the New Year.

Cheers to the New Year!

Life Coach Nova

Schedule your path to fulfillment for the New Year, contact Life Coach Nova today.
Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Or call: 949-858-2442

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2007 Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part of any form.

Again, I feel compelled to write about Hope.

In the grips of despair, there is always Hope.

During trying times with a significant person in your life, there is always Hope.

While feeling low and insignificant, there is always Hope.

When sleepless nights torment you with tomorrow’s stresses, there is always Hope.

As your problems surround and paralyze you, there is always Hope.

Hope finds you when loneliness seeps in.

Hope reaches to you when sadness overcomes you.

Hope surrounds you and repels Fear.

Hope blasts away guilt and shame…

Leaving you…

You.

The true you.

Connected with God.

Connected with others.

Able to receive as well as give.

Hope.

The symbol of the spirit of Christmas.

Give and you will find Hope.

Pray and you will find Hope.

Surround yourself with others who believe and support you, and you will find Hope.

Seek Hope.
*******************************************************************
My symbol for Hope is a star. The North Star symbolized the birth of our savior. Centuries later we still celebrate His birthday as the most joyous time of year. Often feelings of the past year surface now and cause internal conflict between sadness and joy. Center yourself with Hope and goals for the New Year. Pick one attribute or new lesson you learned this past year and cherish your new skill and insight. You have grown.

God aligned the stars the night that Christ was born. Look at the stars tonight and know the stars shine just for you.

Merry Christmas,

Life Coach Nova
P.S. I am grateful to my parents who chose my name, Nova, to represent a bright new star in their life. The significance of my name speaks to me as I learn everyday to better assist others in their quest.

nova@stepstonesforlife.com
949-858-2442 business

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2006 All Rights Reserved including the right to reproduction in whole or in part in any form 

For a very long time, I was suffering from an awful eating disorder. Bulimia is a deceitful voice in one’s head, ironically feeding not from food, but off of fear, anger & anxiety. It grows stronger by manipulating and shadowing one’s true self, until one day, you don’t recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror. It is a horrifying experience to realize the monster you’ve grown inside, and even worse to surrender to it.

During the course of my disorder, I felt my soul slowly slipping away. For a while I believed that it was held in place, somewhere in my core, only by a tiny, delicate thread. I continued my lifestyle for years until I wasn’t even sure if it was there at all. A constant numbness convinced me that I had lost my soul forever, creating this vast hollowness inside, so deep I don’t know where it began or ended.

I was convinced by this voice that I would be like this forever. I accepted both the dependence and false support I received from this disguised demon. His arms were wrapped around me so tightly I could hardly breathe. Yet, how would I function without him? In essence, fear perpetuated fear. My attempts at recovery can only compare to a very bad relationship. The kind where you break up and reconcile, over and over. You constantly try to end it, but end up running back to open arms, feeling both safety and shame at returning yet again.

Sometimes I think about the recovery process I experienced with my life coach as unbelievable, because I truly felt that I was a lost cause beyond repair. I wanted so badly to live a different life, I just didn’t know where, or when, or how to begin.

Due to an intense fear of judgment, I had trouble asking for help. When I finally reached out for life coaching with Nova, I still had issues trusting someone with my dark and shameful secret. Slowly, and when I was ready, she convinced me, among other things, to simply find hope. It was inside me all along, buried by illusion. Hope presented itself as this flicker of light, a momentary reflection of gold, a chance at a meaningful and fulfilling life. For the first time in years, I felt the presence of my soul, of me, and was secretly in awe of the strength of that tiny, delicate thread.

I feel emotional when I think about my life coaching experience. I am overwhelmed with gratitude, excitement, and even a little fear at the prospect of this new life that I’m creating. But even a big amount of fear is not enough to pull this heavy anchor of hope, faith, and awareness I discovered inside of me, all thru the steady encouragement of my life coach. I am a great work in progress, constantly learning and growing. I have a bright, golden voice.

With Sincerity,

FindingHope
A Step Stones For Life Client

There is always Hope.

Life Coach Nova
Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 949-858-2442  or Toll Free: 1-877-484-LIFE

The contents of this letter may not be reproduced. Feel free to forward the URL to those you feel may benefit.

1. Eat fruit alone in the morning only. First thing in the morning is ideal to get your metabolism going and give you energy for the day. Watermelon on an empty stomach has a natural cleansing effect and is an excellent choice.

2. Have your ShapeWorks shake in the morning. The soy protein is long lasting and will signal to your body that you have enough nutrients and protein which will reduce your cravings. For added fullness use soy milk in your shakes. You can add fruit to your morning shake.

3. Ideally substitute 2 meals a day with your yummy ShapeWorks Shakes. If you have a meal instead do not have your shake. The shakes are meal replacements only.

4. Your afternoon snack is important. Have a protein or veggie snack. Snacks should be around 100 calories. Good choices are veggies of any kind, string cheese, half a protein bar, slices of turkey or chicken. I like to roll up a couple of turkey slices in lettuce with a little mustard. Yum. I also like soft mozzarella slices with a fresh basil leaf and tomato on top. Super Yum. Your afternoon snack will keep you energized, keep your metabolism going, and help you keep your portions small for dinner.

5. Stay away from white flour, white bread, regular pasta, white rice, sugar, and alcohol. Have whole wheat (make sure by reading labels), durum wheat pasta (De Cecco is really good), and brown rice. Because even good carbohydrates raise your insulin levels which make you absorb fat, when you do have whole grain carbs keep your fat intake low. For example you can have durum wheat pasta with a nonfat organic tomato sauce and veggies sautéed in bullion (no butter or oil). Try to have carbs during the day not at night so you have enough time to burn them off.

6. Have protein and veggies at night. Fish, chicken, steak, turkey, or soy products with a salad and yummy grilled, sautéed, or steamed veggies. It is OK to add a little butter if you do not have carbs! I use a product called Earth Balance rather than butter. It is a soy product that tastes just like sweet butter with no carbs or cholesterol!

7. Drink water all day long!! Often our bodies send “hunger signals” when really we are dehydrated. Being well hydrated helps satiate hunger, flushes toxins from your body, and reduces water weight. Carry a water bottle all day long and get in the habit of sipping on water throughout the day. Drink three big 10 oz. glasses of water with your supplements. Make sure you get at least 64 oz. of water a day.

8. EXERCISE. Get moving at least 30 minutes a day. Make it part of your life. We pay so much attention to taking care of our homes, our cars, our children, our loved ones, while often times putting ourselves on the back burner!! No more. You have made a commitment to yourself with the ShapeWorks Program to take control of your health and your weight, and exercise is your number one priority. Walking is a great start. Every day try to go a little farther and a little faster, until you can jog or hike up hill. Try to incorporate some strength training as well for added muscle building which will increase your metabolism and is great for bone density. Exercising everyday will make it a habit, a routine, an essential part of your life, and a tool for staying young, agile, and sexy! (If you have not been physically active or have any chronic conditions please consult your physician before beginning any exercise routine).

9. Do not eat 2 hours before you go to bed. This is so important! Night time snacking is the biggest downfall for weight loss success, and is largely attributed to emotional eating. Try an alternative instead; Take a hot bath, sip on hot decaffeinated herbal tea, and write down your feelings. Often just releasing your emotions through words is helpful and cathartic while honoring your personal feelings. Start a journal just for you. Learning to recognize and take care of your emotional needs is a key element for weight loss success and maintenance. Snack Defense also helps with night time munchies.

10. Pay attention to your eating patterns and track your progress. Look for patterns of success. The above suggestions are guidelines for your success based on the science of how our bodies respond to protein, fat, and carbohydrates. But remember, every body is unique and responds differently, so pay attention to what works BEST for YOU. For example, I find that my body can only tolerate about 2 whole grain - nonfat meals a week. If I have more than that I start to put on weight. So I generally stick with my shakes in morning/afternoon, and protein and veggies at night. Occasionally I will have whole wheat pasta, or a veggie sandwich on whole wheat bread, or brown rice with veggies for lunch or dinner. I also find the more water I drink, the more I lose weight! Look for YOUR patterns of success so you can get the optimal results for YOUR body!

Remember every morning the reason why you began the ShapeWorks Program. Close your eyes and picture your goal. Create a vision of success. You can do it with ShapeWorks and your ShapeWorks Coach! I believe in you.

Here’s to your health!

Nova Reed, M.A., Life Coach
Step Stones For Life

Buy ShapeWorks Now! Go to www.herbal-nutrition.net/nova

nova@stepstonesforlife.com
949-858-2442
Toll Free: 1-877-484-LIFE

Step Stones For Life Copyright 2005 © All Rights Reserved

1. Empower

Empowerment contains three main components: Power, strength, and Energy. Power is your exerted physical, mental, or spiritual ability to act. Your Strength is the quality or amount of exertion a person is capable of to withstand strain, pressure, or pain. Energy applies your Power expended to be transformed into work, behavior, and actions.

Empower yourself through strengthening your physical body, acquiring knowledge, and nurturing your spirit.

2. Endure

To endure is the intellectual decision to persevere in the face of challenges through will, determination, and choice. Staying true to yourself even under the pressures of conformity.

Endure by keeping your vision of a Preferred Life clear and continuing to create meaningful goals to reinforce and strengthen your path to fulfillment congruent with your soul. Be accountable for your choices.

3. Engage

To engage is to attract and hold something you desire by influence or power. Engage in life through actively participating in it. Live life to the fullest. Explore new possibilities, relationships, and experiences. Engage with nature, with others, and with your relationship with God.

The act of engagement is interlocking: Engage in life and life will engage with you.

Empower, Endure, and Engage to live with Vitality.

Life Coach Nova
Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 949-858-2442

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2006 All Rights Reserved including the right to reproduction in whole or in part of any form

Reduce: syn: DECREASE, CONQUER

Stress Reduction relies on the individual’s ability to remain or return to a state of balance. The physiological response to stress places the body out of balance, adding to the emotional confusion and lack of clarity present in a stressful or crisis situation. Stress is real and damaging to our physical and emotional health. In the definition above, the factor that stress imposes on the vulnerability to disease is stated quite clearly. When we are stressed, disease can follow. Therefore, teaching my clients the value and tools to reduce stress remains one of the most important and focused aspects of Life Coaching.

There are three aspects of Stress: Physical, Chemical, and Emotional. Notice the intellect is not mentioned. The Intellect is our tool to combat stress through choice, thought control, and problem solving. The difficulty lies in the universal dimension of Emotion. Emotion always out wins the Intellect. You can be the brightest person in the world, and yet intense emotions such as fear, worry, and anger can leave you crippled to fight back against stress. But – you can use thoughts, choice, and self talk to sooth your emotions, and by doing so train your physical body to respond and conquer stress.

The Emotional Aspect of Stress: Feelings of being overwhelmed, confused, and overburdened.

The Combatant: Thoughts of being in control, clarity of thought and personal capabilities.

The Chemical Aspect of Stress: The release of adrenaline, and cortisol into the blood stream by the adrenal cortex causing a fight or flight response. The release of cortisol raises blood pressure, blood sugars, and reduces the immune system.

The Combatant: The release of stress reducing hormones such as endorphins through completing a challenging task, or physical exertion.

The Physical Aspect of Stress: Muscle tension, pain, soreness, headaches, digestive problems, decreased physical energy.

The Combatant: Physical Relaxation through progressive muscle relaxation, breathing techniques, and meditation.

When faced with STRESS use the three COMBATANTS. Of course utilizing all three together will provide you with the greatest resiliency possible.

Engage in thought control by consciously deciding what you DO have control over, and what you DO NOT. Release the struggle over things you do not have control over. Let it go. Focus instead on things you do have control over. Call your abilities and talents to focus on a goal which will move you toward a desired outcome.

Maintain or return hormonal balance through diet, mental challenges, and physical exertion. Add protein throughout your day. The addition of protein raises serotonin levels in your brain improving your well-being, energy level, and mood. Stay away from foods which raise your insulin levels making you absorb the sugars in your blood stream under stress. Yes, stress can make you fat! Choose whole grain carbohydrates rather than white flour. Stay away from sugar.

Endorphins are powerful anti-stress power balls that carry feel good tingles through your body – naturally. The release of endorphins happens after a prolonged physical exertion. Generally 20 minutes of cardiovascular activity kicks it in. The longer the period of exertion, the greater the effect. What you may not know, feel good endorphins are also released after completing a challenging task as well. Accomplishment combats stress.

Learning to sooth your physical body with relaxation techniques provides you with a self-soothing tool to use anywhere to combat stress. 15 minutes of clearing your head, releasing physical tension, and focusing on your breath drastically alters the tension in your body. Practice makes perfect. Find a quite place surround yourself with elements that sooth your soul, give yourself the opportunity to provide your mind and body with PEACE. Breath slowly, focus on soothing thoughts, GIVE to yourself. Create an environment of peace and let yourself just be. PEACE combats stress.

Create balance in your life through accomplishments, healthy choices, and a peaceful environment. Manage your priorities to leave time to engage in stress prevention through physical activity, relaxation, and enjoyment.

Contact me…

Life Coach Nova
Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 949-858-2442

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2006 All Rights Reserved

Untruths comprise a limited self-definition of oneself inconsistent with your soul. They are by definition untrue to your soul. Untruths can be difficult for the individual to spot, but speak clearly through language. I look for untruths in my clients within the language that they use, such as I can’t, or I shouldn’t. Experiences of the past can reinforce untruths and quietly convince us we can’t accomplish our goals, find true love, or trust. By delving into the experiences that have somehow supported an untruth, while at the same time finding experiences that contradict this limited self-belief, the untruth becomes an apparent road block to burst through. Your soul has been waiting to plow through that road block, and has been providing you clues to investigate the validity of your pain, frustration, and unhappiness. Happiness is living congruently with your soul, serving your purpose, and reaching your destiny. Make the decision to break free from hindering self-doubt, conformity, and hesitation. Clear the way for your soul.

*Clear away physical congestion

Physical Congestion results from imbalance – emotional, physical, and spiritual. Physical symptoms of stress such as headaches muscle pains, and fatigue are flashing red lights to take notice and care for yourself. Exercise in moderation filtered into your daily routine provides a sure way to address imbalance and clear the way for positive energy. Diet remains a hot issue in our society, and fad diets have hit an all time high. Here’s the key when seeking to live congruently with your soul: Moderation – simple, effective, and doable. Feed your soul with foods that will comfort you physically. Now this is a trick sentence, as processed foods we tend to think of as “comfort” food, do not comfort you physically, but rather poison our body’s natural ability to metabolize and burn our food as fuel. Comfort food in my book comforts your body naturally by increasing serotonin levels in the brain, giving you more energy, and satiating hunger. Don’t leave your soul hungry! What do you eat? My rule of thumb is…anything that God makes is OK to eat, whole grains, natural proteins, veggies, and fruit. Protein has been a focus of study after study, finding that our bodies need protein to maintain health, mentally and physically. Eat small meals frequently throughout the day rather than three large meals. Focus on eating to live rather than living to eat.

*Listen to your soul

Once you have cleared the way, your soul will speak more clearly. The voice will sound like a familiar whisper of intuition, a nudge in the right direction. And when you listen, well, I get chills. Your body will signal when you get it right. Your life will signal when you are listening to your soul. Your relationships will improve, your outlook on life will be brighter, and your whole being will be at peace. You may not be consciously aware you are moving in the right direction until you reach a milestone which signals your arrival of success. Staying on your path takes work, so when you feel off balance – stop – and refocus. Follow the steps above again until you find your path to fulfillment once again. The more you focus on living congruently with your soul, the brighter your path will become. The brighter your path becomes, the more detailed your preferred life will become. The more detailed your preferred life, the richer your experience in the world becomes. The richer your experience in the world, the more meaning you find in your life. The more meaning you have in your life, the greater your purpose becomes…and you become congruent with your soul.

Here’s to your journey!

Comments? Questions? Please feel free to post your comments or questions at the bottom of the page. We all learn and grow from each other.

Author: Nova Reed, M.A., Life Coach
Website: www.StepStonesForLife.com

You can contact Nova by email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Or Call: 949-858-2442

*Consult your physician before beginning any exercise routine or modifying your diet, especially if you have been inactive or have health concerns.

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2006

Reason and Passion
And the priestess spoke again and said: “Speak to us of Reason and Passion.”
And he answered saying:
Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against passion and your appetite.
Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody.
But how shall I, unless you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?
Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.
If either your sails or our rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.
For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.
Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion; that it may sing;
And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.
I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house.
Surely you would not honour one guest above the other; for he who is more mindful of one loses the love and the faith of both.
Among the hills, when you sit in the cool shade of the white poplars, sharing the peace and serenity of distant fields and meadows - then let your heart say in silence, “God rests in reason.”
And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and thunder and lightning proclaim the majesty of the sky, - then let your heart say in awe, “God moves in passion.”
And since you are a breath In God’s sphere, and a leaf in God’s forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.

Beautiful…

To get your signed copy of Creative Intelligence contact me!

Life Coach Nova
Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 949-858-2442

Learning to recognize your defense mechanisms is the first step. As a life coach, I can spot rationalization like multiple red flags flashing and waving right in front of me. Confrontation doesn’t always work when addressing the deep subconscious defense mechanisms learned over time for survival. They will fight back. So I approach disarming these counterparts to success a different way.

The mind is like a computer, and weather you realize it or not, you remember and retain everything. The verbal and written word is powerful. You can “reprogram” your thinking to ditch unhealthy defense mechanisms, and support healthy self-confident problem solving techniques instead. This requires self-knowledge. Building up your personal arsenal of assets, talents, and resources both personally and within your environment creates an army to fight rationalizations and misguided beliefs I call “untruths.”

When I hear rationalizations, rather than confronting, I think of the exact opposite of the rationalization and search the client’s pool of experiences to find a personal example which creates empowerment. Just the verbal acknowledgment of a personal trait in existence, and then reinforcing that trait diminishes defense mechanisms, as rationalizations or excuses are no longer needed when someone feels confident in handling their life. If self-doubt feeds rationalization, then self-confidence feeds accountability.

Accountability leads to fulfillment of your goals and a Preferred Life, and puts you on the path to success. With accountability comes self-preservation. Self-preservation leads to constructive decisions and motivation to accomplish your goals. Weather you are striving for success in your business, your relationships, personal growth, health or weight loss, accountability is your greatest ally. Convince yourself you are capable through your own words, and your own experiences.

You are capable of handling any challenge. Challenges and transitions may be very difficult, but your Creator equipped you with everything you need, you just have to uncover it.

Life Coach Nova

Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 949-858-2442

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2006

Just when you got the parenting thing down, your child goes to sleep one night and wakes up an adolescent. Adolescence seems to happen overnight, bursting at the seems with emotions, drama, power struggles, and turmoil. A rebalancing act within the family structure to accommodate a budding adult can offer new parenting challenges.

How do you get through it?

First, develop an understanding that the developmental bridge between childhood and adulthood consisting of adolescence can be more painful and scary for your child than you. The destination of adulthood can be a vast land of unknown responsibilities accompanying that independence they are also pushing for.

Develop a plan and strategy to help guide you through adolescence with the optimal goal of serving your child’s independence, character, and confidence to smooth away the pressure from the outside world and gain peace within your home.

1. Foster a Solid Identity

Your child starts out incorporating their parents as equal parts of their identity. During adolescence differentiation begins where the individual begins the natural separation process from the parents and begins building there own identity. The differentiation process is critical to successful development, relationships, and adulthood. This can also be a wobbly time for your adolescent, literally filling up an empty identity tank.

As parents, this is your opportunity to foster a solid identity as your teen begins to form a separate, unique, and healthy identity. The more solid a teen’s identity, the greater their ability will be to push away peer pressure, handle challenging tasks, develop healthy coping skills, and keep a stable mood.

You can foster a solid identity by asking questions, and actively listening. Active Listening requires attention, leaning toward the person, and reflection. The intent is to listen and have the speaker feel heard and understood. Help your teen by engaging in conversations that solidify their identity and encouraging them to put into words their own personal experience and meaning in the world. A helpful hint: Pay great attention to the values and ideals you want to encourage and ask detailed questions. While your teen is forming their own unique identity, you can still guide them by your own congruency with family values and love.

2. Be a Fan

Be their greatest fan! Cheer on accomplishments, point out positive interactions and what your teen does well. Shift the focus from the turmoil of adolescence to the accomplishments and growth experiences of adolescence. The words, “I am proud of you,” can melt away tension, ground confidence and security, and just feels good to say and receive.

3. Set limits

Healthy boundaries are a must during adolescence and communicate care and concern. Helping your teen set goals with positive rewards will teach them self-initiative and pride. Consequences follow naturally in life when we don’t stay within the boundaries of the law, our employer, school, and relationships. Teach your teen with effective discipline by implementing appropriate consequences that are immediate, quick, and allows them to get back to life quickly. The goal remains to stay in a positive cycle with your teen, using failures and troubles as learning opportunities for personal growth.

For more tips on getting through adolescence don’t hesitate to utilize any resource available to help you and your child through the biggest transition in life. Just as quickly as childhood burst to adolescence, adulthood rounds the corner. Make the most out of your relationship with your teen by seeking support when needed.

Nova Reed, M.A., Life Coach
Step Stones For Life

Develop your plan to help your teen through adolescence, contact me for available Life Coaching packages to assist you and your teen develop a loving, respectful, and productive relationship. Visit www.StepStonesForLife.com, email me at Nova@StepStonesForLife.com or call 949.858.2442.

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2006
Including reproduction in whole or in part of any form

So hear you go, two simple steps – though not so simple when faced with depression. But trust me, just do it and you will feel better.

1. Gratitude
List 10 things you are grateful for

Gratitude is the exact opposite of depression. When you are grateful, you are NOT depressed. Say out loud 10 things you are grateful for. See – it works. When you are grateful you are faithful, which places you in the present – away from past regrets and future anxieties. Focusing on the present, on joy, and on pleasure takes you away from the past. You can do nothing about the past, only in the present can you act. Be grateful. God gives you everything you need. Seek Gratitude.

2. Act As If
Act as if you are not depressed

“Acting as if” is a psychological technique that seems so simple, but is so powerful. The idea is the behavior precedes the feeling. You are too fearful to go to a party. You feel down and low. Actually, FEAR is stepping in and speaking to you of all your inadequacies. Well, STOP – and just act as if you are the most confident, joyful person you could be. Just GO. You will realize you have faced your fears (of the past) and conquered them by just showing up. You will smile and have a great time. Next time it will be easier, until “acting as if” becomes the actual feeling of confidence and happiness.

Happiness lies at the doorstep of self-belief, lined with gratitude, all you have to do open the door…

Life Coach Nova

Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 949-858-2442

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2006

In combating anxiety there are simple coping strategies.

1. Trust
Trust in yourself to deal with the situation. (self-knowledge)
Trust in God to provide what you need. (faith)
Trust in others. (support)

2. Emotional Presence
The key to remaining emotional presence is trust.
Any one can learn to remain emotionally present.
Emotional presence allows you to push away regrets of the past,
and anxieties of the future – so you can act.
Switching your thought process to focus on the
experience of the moment rather than the outcome allows presence of mind.

3. Physical Relaxation
Reduce the amount of stress hormones in your body.
Center your emotional presence.
Let go of what you cannot control through your breath.
Focus on what you can control.
Lift your palms up and feel the anxiety drip from your fingers.

4. Health
Preventive health measures insure optimal physical responses.
Exercise moderately
Eat Well
Take time out to relax and center yourself each day.

Start living anxiety free today!

Life Coach Nova
Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 949-858-2442

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2006

Please be patient while the blog is being updated…

All the articles in the archives will be restored soon.

Feel free to contact me with any questions.

Thank you,

Life Coach Nova

Email: nova@stepstonesforlife.com

Or call: 1-877-48-4LIFE