~ Life Coach Nova

As long as life is full and free
Let me live and still by me
But when my days on Earth are done
An Eternal Rest I’ve surely won
Rob me not of the right to die
Let my soul to heaven fly.

When mind and heart and body fail
And doctors work to no avail
Cease the needles painful prick
No more tubes into me stick
Another day, another week
Prolonged life I would not seek.

Remember that I loved you so
Say goodbye and let me go
Pray for strength and then depart
Keep my love within your heart.

Dedicated to my Angel on Earth, Aunt Gini, with love.

The holidays often surface emotions from the past with greater intensity. Unresolved conflict, hurt, and past regrets are heightened with the approaching end of the New Year. Maybe goals were unfulfilled, or relationships came to an end, or a loved one passed away, or a deep family conflict remains an open wound. Many report to me that the pain can become unbearable, the sorrow of a missed loved one seems inescapable, or the motivation to get along with a particular family member for one meal seems just too much.

This holiday season, focus on one word to pull you toward happiness, fulfillment, and contentment: HOPE. There is always HOPE. Hope surfaces faith, love, joy, and the beauty in all of us to turn to others and GIVE. The act of giving pushes away pain, hurt, and isolation.

Follow this simple exercise to prepare your heart to take in all the joy around you this holiday season:

1. Write down 10 things you are most grateful for today. Read them over. Your heart will fill with gratitude, bring you to the present, and create thoughts of joy.

2. On 10 notes write “I am grateful for you.” And personally hand them (or if not possible mail them) to the 10 most important people in your life. A bonus would be to include a positive affirmation about each person that you find endearing. Such as, “I am grateful for you. You are a great listener.” – What a beautiful gift. Create place cards for your holiday table, use them as stocking stuffers, or labels for gifts.

Grieving can take on new pain over the holidays:
Knowing that a very important person may include the memory of a loved one, write down your gratitude for them and place the note in a photo album or next to a picture of them. By embracing gratitude for the beautiful memories you have, you are holding their spirit close and honoring every piece of their life.

3. Do the one thing you enjoy the most this holiday. Take time to nurture yourself. You will have more energy to give, resentment will diminish, and you will take in the good in everyone. Everyone seems more pleasant when you are relaxed!

And finally, center yourself with this thought;

Gratitude, the act of giving, pulls me closer to others,
to creation, to hope, and to love.

I am always here for you.
Please feel free to email me at nova@stepstonesforlife.com
or call 949.858.2442

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Happy Holidays!

Peace,

Life Coach Nova
949.858.2442

Thank you so much for breathing new life into our relationship! When I contacted you, I was seriously thinking of ending my marriage. I was so unhappy. The romance was gone. I questioned everything, and didn’t know where to turn.

Steve and I have learned how communicate, identify our needs, and stay in a positive cycle. It’s amazing when you had us define our negative cycle and how to stop it, everything began to change. There was hope for us! Not only did we stop the negative cycle, we began a whole new chapter in our marriage. One of love, respect, mutual support, and passion!

Our marriage is better than ever, and we now have the tools to get through challenging times together. We will forever be grateful.

Sincerely,

Susan and Steve

(names altered for privacy)

I came across your site and something triggered some hope within me. If anything would help, if anyone could help, I thought it could be you. I was nervous reaching out to you, I’ve never asked for help. I’m a successful businessman whom many look up to. My success in business was no longer enough, I needed something different. You were so warm and caring. You listened to what I was going through and were confident you could help. For the first time, in a long time, I felt hope.

I did not anticipate where my journey would take me, but I trusted you enough to begin. You expected me to work, be accountable, and also to be forgiving of myself. You taught me to live in the present, to experience joy, and realize my fullest potential. You listened when no one else would. Your focus was only about me, my life, and my success.

I learned to redefine “success” and what fulfillment really meant. The true definition of prosperity includes much more than money. I learned to be a better husband, father, and friend. You’ve taught me lessons about communication, stress reduction, and finding balance in my life. My quality of life has surpassed my expectations, thanks to our work together and my new found insight.

My gratitude to you cannot be expressed in words. I’ve realized an energy in life I didn’t know existed. I’ve connected with a faith I didn’t know was even there. You have opened my eyes and directed me in a new direction. I am content for the first time in my adult life, and excited to see where my future goes.

Thank you Nova for everything.

Truly,

Paul

(name changed for privacy)

Thank you for allowing me to share your words. I am grateful to be a part of your journey.

How do you get through it?

First, develop an understanding that the developmental bridge between childhood and adulthood consisting of adolescence can be more painful and scary for your child than you. The destination of adulthood can be a vast land of unknown responsibilities accompanying that independence they are also pushing for.

Develop a plan and strategy to help guide you through adolescence with the optimal goal of serving your child’s independence, character, and confidence to smooth away the pressure from the outside world and gain peace within your home.

1. Foster a Solid Identity

Your child starts out incorporating their parents as equal parts of their identity. During adolescence differentiation begins where the individual begins the natural separation process from the parents and begins building there own identity. The differentiation process is critical to successful development, relationships, and adulthood. This can also be a wobbly time for your adolescent, as they work to fill up their identity tank.

As parents, this is your opportunity to foster a solid identity as your teen begins to form a separate, unique, and healthy identity. The more solid a teen’s identity, the greater their ability will be to push away peer pressure, handle challenging tasks, develop healthy coping skills, and keep a stable mood.

You can foster a solid identity by asking questions, and actively listening. Active Listening requires attention, leaning toward the person, and reflection. The intent is to listen and have the speaker feel heard and understood. Help your teen by engaging in conversations that solidify their identity and encouraging them to put into words their own personal experience and meaning in the world. A helpful hint: Pay great attention to the values and ideals you want to encourage and ask detailed questions. While your teen is forming their own unique identity, you can still guide them by your own congruency with family values and love.

2. Be a Fan

Be their greatest fan! Cheer on accomplishments, point out positive interactions and what your teen does well. Shift the focus from the turmoil of adolescence to the accomplishments and growth experiences of adolescence. The words, “I am proud of you,” can melt away tension, ground confidence and security, and just feels good to say and receive.

3. Set limits

Healthy boundaries are a must during adolescence and communicate care and concern. Helping your teen set goals with positive rewards will teach them self-initiative and pride. Consequences follow naturally in life when we don’t stay within the boundaries of the law, our employer, school, and relationships. Teach your teen with effective discipline by implementing appropriate consequences that are immediate, quick, and allows them to get back to life quickly. The goal remains to stay in a positive cycle with your teen, using failures and troubles as learning opportunities for personal growth.

For more tips on getting through adolescence don’t hesitate to utilize any resource available to help you and your child through the biggest transition in life. Just as quickly as childhood burst to adolescence, adulthood rounds the corner. Make the most out of your relationship with your teen by seeking support when needed.

Nova Reed, M.A., Life Coach
Step Stones For Life

Develop your plan to help your teen through adolescence, contact me for available Life Coaching packages to assist you and your teen develop a loving, respectful, and productive relationship. Visit www.StepStonesForLife.com, email me at Nova@StepStonesForLife.com or call 949.858.2442.

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