11.19.07

Giving Thanks

Posted in Life Coaching, Depression, Stress Reduction, Fulfillment, Hope at 8:55 pm by Life Coach Nova

Though the holiday season is thought to be a joyous time by all, many find the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas to be stressful and emotional. As a helping professional, I have observed the approaching holiday season as both a joyous time, as well as a time filled with heartache and family conflict.

Mild depression seems to permeate much of our society as we struggle to fulfill multiple roles, strive for perfection, and bury the pain of the past. The holidays often surface emotions from the past with greater intensity. Unresolved conflict, hurt, and past regrets are heightened with the impending marker representing the approaching end of the New Year. Maybe goals were unfulfilled, or relationships came to an end, or a loved one passed away, or a deep family conflict remains an open wound. Many report to me that the pain can become unbearable, the sorrow of a missed loved one seems inescapable, or the motivation to get along with a particular family member for one meal seems just too much. 

This holiday season, focus on one word to pull you toward happiness, fulfillment, and contentment: HOPE. There is always HOPE. Hope surfaces faith, love, joy, and the beauty in all of us to turn to others and GIVE. The act of giving thanks pushes away pain, hurt, and isolation. 

The Thanksgiving holiday provides us with the opportunity to pause, reflect on our blessings, and proclaim our gratitude. The very act of saying grace, thanking God for our gifts, our food, our family, friends, and health serves us in so many ways. Gratitude, as I have written before, happens to be the exact opposite of depression. When you are grateful, you are not depressed. Gratitude also exists in the present. In the present you can feel joy, elation, and peace. 

Follow this simple exercise to prepare your heart to take in all the joy around you this holiday season: 

With the knowing that we are all connected in harmony through the unison of Thanksgiving, and that many before us sacrificed to give us the life we have now, give thanks and express your gratitude… 

1. Write down 10 things you are most grateful for today. Read them over. Your heart will fill with gratitude, bring you to the present, and pull the giving trait we all have to share your blessings with others. 

2. On 10 notes write “I am grateful for you.” And personally hand them (or if not possible mail them) to the 10 most important people in your life. A bonus would be to include a positive affirmation about each person that you find endearing. Such as, “I am grateful for you. You are a great listener.” – What a beautiful gift for the thanksgiving table to leave place cards for your family proclaiming your gratitude! 

Grieving can take on new pain over the holidays:
Knowing that a very important person may include the memory of a loved one, write down your gratitude for them and place the note in a photo album or next to a picture of them. By embracing gratitude for the beautiful memories you have, you are holding their spirit close and honoring every piece of their life. 

3. Do the one thing you enjoy the most this holiday. Take time to nurture yourself. You will have more energy to give, resentment will diminish, and you will take in the good in everyone. Everyone seems more pleasant when you are relaxed! 

And finally, center yourself with this thought; 

Gratitude, the act of giving thanks, pulls me closer to others, to creation, to hope, and to love. 

Give thanks this Thanksgiving! 

Happy Thanksgiving with all the trimmings. 

All my best, 

Life Coach Nova 

Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com

Or call: 949.858.2442 

I am always here for you. 

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05.04.07

Depression

Posted in Life Coaching, Self-Help, Depression at 6:04 pm by Life Coach Nova

When I see clients I hear two major complaints: Depression and Anxiety. Depression is fear of the past. Regrets, should haves, could haves, and internalized past anger. Anxiety is fear of the future. I often hear pleadings of relatively healthy individuals crippled with mild depression in the mist of stress and challenges, “Give me some tools to fight this depression!”

So hear you go, two simple steps – though not so simple when faced with depression. But trust me, just do it and you will feel better.

1. Gratitude
List 10 things you are grateful for

Gratitude is the exact opposite of depression. When you are grateful, you are NOT depressed. Say out loud 10 things you are grateful for. See – it works. When you are grateful you are faithful, which places you in the present – away from past regrets and future anxieties. Focusing on the present, on joy, and on pleasure takes you away from the past. You can do nothing about the past, only in the present can you act. Be grateful. God gives you everything you need. Seek Gratitude.

2. Act As If
Act as if you are not depressed

“Acting as if” is a psychological technique that seems so simple, but is so powerful. The idea is the behavior precedes the feeling. You are too fearful to go to a party. You feel down and low. Actually, FEAR is stepping in and speaking to you of all your inadequacies. Well, STOP – and just act as if you are the most confident, joyful person you could be. Just GO. You will realize you have faced your fears (of the past) and conquered them by just showing up. You will smile and have a great time. Next time it will be easier, until “acting as if” becomes the actual feeling of confidence and happiness.

Happiness lies at the doorstep of self-belief, lined with gratitude, all you have to do open the door…

Life Coach Nova

Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Call: 949-858-2442

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