06.25.08
Posted in Life Coaching, Self-Help, Stress Reduction, Health and Wellness at 10:40 pm by Life Coach Nova
Life changing events can send a jolt through your well-being creating a state of unbalance and stress. A major change in your life, the death of a loved one, divorce, or major illness can pull the rug right out from under you, leaving you to face life in a completely new direction. Even positive change, such as getting married, loosing weight, a promotion, or buying your first house, all elicit a significant level of stress.
Day to day changes can also throw you off balance and lower your tolerance. An abrupt change in your schedule, a change in eating habits, or a change in work conditions, all accumulatively add up to your personal level of readjustment. When the consequence of any change questions your abilities or resources to succeed, or deal with the circumstances, coping strategies are used to mediate the stressful effects of the event. Effective coping strategies will reduce distress. How well people cope has to do with the meaning they place upon the event, their self-confidence, and the anticipated outcome.
Coping strategies will enable you to keep your cool, stay composed, and efficiently deal with the task at hand. Long term, learning to cope will keep you buffered against disease, and enhance your heath emotionally and physically. The ultimate goal of effective coping is to return to a state of balance, comfort, and productivity.
There are three main coping styles. Problem-focused coping creates a plan of action by gathering information, support, and personal resources to find solutions. Problem-focused coping works well for situations you have some control over. Emotion-focused coping, such as acceptance, healthy expression of feelings, and positive self-talk, manages your distress by changing the attention or meaning placed on the event. When the situation seems too much handle or frightening, escape-avoidance coping creates distance. Escape-avoidance coping can be helpful when used to gather your strength and return calmly to create a plan of action, like taking a break, listening to music, or going on vacation. However, when fear is present along with a lack of confidence, escape-avoidance can take a self-destructive turn to excessive behaviors such as drinking in excess, using drugs, or binge eating. Maintaining a confident, positive outlook toward yourself and the world will enable you to cope effectively and reduce anxiety and fear.
Maintain a Positive Perspective
Change can be seen from two perspectives, as a threat or challenge. If change is viewed as a threat, then feelings of fear, uneasiness, and loss of control are likely to follow. If change is viewed as a challenge and an opportunity for growth, then feelings of self-efficacy and motivation follow. How you view change and assess your own personal resources will determine your emotional reaction and coping strategy. Pay attention to your self-talk:
“Oh no, I can’t handle this! I’m doomed. I’m going to fail.”
Perception of Change: Threat = Fear, Anxiety, Loss of Control
“I can handle this. I have faith things will work out. I will succeed.”
Perception of Change: Challenge = Self-Confidence, Competency, Control
Assess the Change Realistically
Ask yourself, “Is this something I can control or not?” Let go of what you cannot control and focus on what you can. When change is unexpected, the stressful impact is greater. Maintaining a flexible outlook on life will enable you to focus on what you can control.
Accepting there will be bumps in the road will give you a realistic perception of change.
Keep your shock absorbers bouncy! When you encounter a bump in the road, having a rigid approach will give you a jolt when you attempt to drive over it. Maintaining flexibility and understanding life is full of twists and turns will give you enough cushion to readjust more comfortably.
Release and Rebalance
When life throws you an unexpected curve, identify your emotional reaction and take steps to release any tension. Even minor changes can quickly add up to feelings of being overwhelmed. Take action to release your emotions in the moment in a safe way. Rather than spelling out the details of why you are feeling how you are, know you are entitled to your feelings, take responsibility and express them. Using “I statements” keeps you accountable for your emotions, increases feelings of control, and reduces blame or avoidance. Rather than yelling at a co-worker or spouse, write down your feelings, and then summarize how you feel, such as “I feel angry!” Close your eyes and imagine a red ball of anger. Take a deep breath and as you exhale, imagine blowing the red ball far away until it disappears. While we cannot control other people’s actions, or some situations, we can control how we release emotions.
Using soothing self-talk brings about feelings of control, reduces physical stress, and helps you return to a state of balance and peace. Relax, breathe slowly, and center your thoughts. Have a saying you repeat that has a calming effect for you. Like, “Let it go.” “I will get through this.” Stay positive with yourself! Believe in your abilities to cope and make it through. Your own words are very powerful. Repeat self-affirming statements until you feel confident:
“I can do this. I can handle anything. When I get through this, I’m going to celebrate.”
See the Bigger Picture
In moments of change, keep the bigger picture present. A person’s values, commitments, and goals influence how change is perceived. Paint a picture of your life’s plan and acknowledge this one experience, while taxing, will not impede your ability to live, love and succeed. Retaining a sense of competence will glide you through a difficult change.
Build Resiliency
Maintaining your health is an important tool to combat stress and improve your stamina for changes in life. Take good care of yourself and ask for help when needed. Reach out for support. Isolation can make stressful situations worse. Take time in your life to build your boat of support. Surround yourself with positive people, utilize your healthcare professionals, counselors, and join supportive groups. Maintaining nurturing relationships will keep your boat strong and provide additional resources, strengthening your belief in your ability to cope.
Stay Hopeful
Move forward with life. The simple act of taking the first step is often the biggest. Believe in yourself, surround yourself with support, have a plan of action, and follow through. Focus on your strengths, what you do well, and the simple joys all around you. Maintaining hope and faith will give you endurance to persevere through life’s changes. The greatest challenges in life are met with the greatest strengths within you.
I believe in you.
Life Coach Nova
Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2008 All Rights Reserved Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This article may be forwarded with appropriate credits included.
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03.01.08
Posted in Life Coaching, Health and Wellness, Spirituality, Fulfillment, Creativity, Hope, Lifestyle at 5:38 pm by Life Coach Nova
Finding Balance
Would you like to live fully with vitality, health, and prosperity? The secret to living a content, happy, and productive life is finding balance. Realizing the state of being balanced includes emotional stability, physical strength, spiritual harmony, and the means to decide. The decision to influence or determine the outcome of one’s life by being balanced requires dedication, effort, and fluidity. Just relaxing, getting away, recharging your batteries, while very beneficial, is not enough to achieve living a balanced life. Balance implies a continuous state, a push and pull in equal directions resulting in complete stability to waver any wobbles in life while remaining sure footed enough to succeed.
The concept of balance often arises in my sessions. In fact, most seek help because some part of their life is “out of balance” and the discomfort pushes them to reach out. It is so with your health as well. When your throat hurts beyond toleration, you go to the doctor knowing treatment can alleviate the discomfort. The same is true for disharmony within the family and yourself. Being a Life Coach, I have the fantastic position to offer help at all levels. Whether your life is a little out of balance, or in complete turmoil, I can be of assistance and help you find comfort.
I often think back in my life and recall lessons I’ve learned that have helped me integrate all my studies in psychology, health, wellness, and coaching. One visual that I often picture is walking the balance beam. I was once a competitive gymnast. I loved everything about gymnastics. Using your body to create something beautiful to watch, reaching and stretching outside of what others could do, and finding that perfect state of “balance”. I would get lost in the rhythmic motions and tune out the whole world, focused on movement, balance, and creation. I can recall my coach telling me the one factor that continually put me ahead on the beam was my ability to trust myself, and not be afraid. Living a balanced life reminds me of the same dedication, concentration, and movements on the balance beam.
Imagine a 2 ½ inch beam, on which you will not only walk, but do cartwheels, back-flips, and spin around full circle on the ball of your feet. Managing the challenges of life is a lot like walking the balance beam. You learn very quickly, if you loose concentration, you WILL fall, and guess what? It hurts! So you are motivated to stay on course. Much the same, if you loose focus with your life, it hurts. It hurts physically, emotionally, and financially.
The act of walking the balance beam, and walking a balanced life requires three simple steps:
1. FOCUS
Focus not on the beam itself below you, but directly ahead. Looking ahead in life manifests movement forward, keeps your head up, and creates a goal. Intense concentration requires a knowing of your abilities, concern only for what really matters, and a relaxed energy that guides you so deeply it seems without thought.
2. FAITH
How do you know where to put your next step if you don’t look down? By trusting you know the way to the end of beam. When you reach out to take a step, you hold your arms out for balance, focus on the end of the beam, and gently dip your foot along the side of the beam to feel your placement. As you brush the side of the beam, you feel confidence and deliberately place your foot ahead of you. Faith is having trust the beam will be there, trust in your ability to stay on course, and trust in the outcome.
3. DEDICATION
The beauty of fluidity comes from constant practice. Repeating the same routine over and over until you could close your eyes and still see the end of the beam. Living a balanced life is exactly the same. Practice focusing on your goals. Practice trusting and having faith. Practice holding your arms out, taking steps, and believing in yourself.
I believe in you.
Start living a balanced life. Call or email me to walk a balanced life.
With warmth,
Life Coach Nova
Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Office: 949.858.2442
Toll Free: 877-484-LIFE
START LIVING!!!
Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2008 Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part of any form. The contents of this article may be forwarded with appropriate credits and contact information included.
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05.04.07
Posted in Life Coaching, Self-Help, Health and Wellness, Eating Disorders at 7:09 pm by Life Coach Nova
You are not alone. The epidemic of unhealthy eating patterns, extreme measures, and the quiet secrets of today’s women and men to get thin and stay thin indicates a broad social undercurrent of influence. All over the country, and especially here in Orange County, pressures can be suffocating for teens, women of all ages, and yes men too. The constant evaluation from peers, strangers in the mall, and ourselves spurs anxiety. When anxiety sits with you in any situation, your reaction will be more physical. Think about the physical reaction of anxiety; your heart races, your stomach hurts, your palms sweat, you may even get dizzy. When anxiety reaches uncomfortable levels, your natural defenses kick in to try to avoid reaching that level again. Some people rationalize, some withdraw, some work through anxiety. Then there others that sit with anxiety until fear overtakes them and becomes a dominant theme in their life.
Fear is the root of any disorder. Focusing on eating disorders, fear can override even the most intellectual, attaching onto food, body image, and self-esteem. Fear of Judgment spins the common thread with individuals who have suffered through an eating disorder. The story behind Fear of Judgment gets strength from the natural defense to escape fear and uncomfortable judgment. The diligent, extreme dieter can literally disappear from judgment by becoming and staying thin, sometimes too thin. Weight can also fluctuate drastically up and down adding desperation and harming natural metabolism intensifying the emotional and physical battle to just feel normal. The focus turns from weight, to escaping judgment and fear. The cycle of escaping judgment can be so intense, health suffers, relationships suffer, and the spirit suffers. Fear of Judgment turns self-definition to self-escape and negative self-talk, taking away from emotional presence, joy, and personal growth.
There is always hope in battling eating disorders. If you think of an eating disorder as a manifestation of fear, then the real battle becomes conquering fear. Fear is tricky to spot, until it literally overtakes you. By understanding and decreasing the precursors to fear, such as anxiety, guilt, and shame, you gain insight into how fear works and undermines you. The strongest warrior against fear is your own voice. Defining, accepting, and building yourself provides you with the armour needed to protect you from fear and move through perceived judgment. Fear of Judgment becomes more intense when individuals must turn to others and their environment to define who they are. If your self-definition remains strong, you look inward, toward your heart and soul, warming away the coldness of fear.
Without fear, you are free to be healthy on all levels. Food becomes fuel, and your body becomes a gift. Without fear, relationships improve, your voice will surface, and success will greet you around every turn.
Warmly,
Life Coach Nova
Blast through fear, define yourself, and move through life with success. Contact me for a complimentary consultation.
Don’t forget to visit my Herbal Nutrition Store for a healthy and balanced approach to good nutrition and staying lean and fit. I’m including a special for my blog readers! Enter the coupon code LIFE to receive 10% off your order and FREE shipping over $50.
Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Or call: 949-858-2442
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Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2006 Including the right to reproduction in whole or in part of any form.
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