Adding Joy To Your Holiday

Posted by Life Coach Nova on December 3, 2009

Though the holiday season is thought to be a joyous time by all, many find the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas to be stressful and emotional. As a helping professional, I have observed the approaching holiday season as both a joyous time, as well as a time filled with heartache and family conflict.

The holidays often surface emotions from the past with greater intensity. Unresolved conflict, hurt, and past regrets are heightened with the approaching end of the New Year. Maybe goals were unfulfilled, or relationships came to an end, or a loved one passed away, or a deep family conflict remains an open wound. Many report to me that the pain can become unbearable, the sorrow of a missed loved one seems inescapable, or the motivation to get along with a particular family member for one meal seems just too much.

This holiday season, focus on one word to pull you toward happiness, fulfillment, and contentment: HOPE. There is always HOPE. Hope surfaces faith, love, joy, and the beauty in all of us to turn to others and GIVE. The act of giving pushes away pain, hurt, and isolation.

Follow this simple exercise to prepare your heart to take in all the joy around you this holiday season:

1. Write down 10 things you are most grateful for today. Read them over. Your heart will fill with gratitude, bring you to the present, and create thoughts of joy.

2. On 10 notes write “I am grateful for you.” And personally hand them (or if not possible mail them) to the 10 most important people in your life. A bonus would be to include a positive affirmation about each person that you find endearing. Such as, “I am grateful for you. You are a great listener.” – What a beautiful gift. Create place cards for your holiday table, use them as stocking stuffers, or labels for gifts.

Grieving can take on new pain over the holidays:
Knowing that a very important person may include the memory of a loved one, write down your gratitude for them and place the note in a photo album or next to a picture of them. By embracing gratitude for the beautiful memories you have, you are holding their spirit close and honoring every piece of their life.

3. Do the one thing you enjoy the most this holiday. Take time to nurture yourself. You will have more energy to give, resentment will diminish, and you will take in the good in everyone. Everyone seems more pleasant when you are relaxed!

And finally, center yourself with this thought;

Gratitude, the act of giving, pulls me closer to others,
to creation, to hope, and to love.

I am always here for you.
Please feel free to email me at nova@stepstonesforlife.com
or call 949.858.2442

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Happy Holidays!

Peace,

Life Coach Nova
949.858.2442

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Wealth

Posted by Life Coach Nova on November 19, 2009

“The richest people are those that give generously to others.” – Life Coach Nova

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Perseverance

Posted by Life Coach Nova on November 13, 2009

“God does not give you more than you can handle.”  – Life Coach Nova


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Reigniting Passion

Posted by Life Coach Nova on October 18, 2009

Dear Nova,

Thank you so much for breathing new life into our relationship! When I contacted you, I was seriously thinking of ending my marriage. I was so unhappy. The romance was gone. I questioned everything, and didn’t know where to turn.

Steve and I have learned how communicate, identify our needs, and stay in a positive cycle. It’s amazing when you had us define our negative cycle and how to stop it, everything began to change. There was hope for us! Not only did we stop the negative cycle, we began a whole new chapter in our marriage. One of love, respect, mutual support, and passion!

Our marriage is better than ever, and we now have the tools to get through challenging times together. We will forever be grateful.

Sincerely,

Susan and Steve

(names altered for privacy)

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A New Definition Of Success

Posted by Life Coach Nova on October 18, 2009

When I started seeing you, I was lost. I functioned in life but couldn’t find happiness. I felt like I was living in a fog, defined by things and my career. I kept living like that until I had to find a way out. To everyone else, my life seemed perfect. But, in reality I was truly unhappy.

I came across your site and something triggered some hope within me. If anything would help, if anyone could help, I thought it could be you. I was nervous reaching out to you, I’ve never asked for help. I’m a successful businessman whom many look up to. My success in business was no longer enough, I needed something different. You were so warm and caring. You listened to what I was going through and were confident you could help. For the first time, in a long time, I felt hope.

I did not anticipate where my journey would take me, but I trusted you enough to begin. You expected me to work, be accountable, and also to be forgiving of myself. You taught me to live in the present, to experience joy, and realize my fullest potential. You listened when no one else would. Your focus was only about me, my life, and my success.

I learned to redefine “success” and what fulfillment really meant. The true definition of prosperity includes much more than money. I learned to be a better husband, father, and friend. You’ve taught me lessons about communication, stress reduction, and finding balance in my life. My quality of life has surpassed my expectations, thanks to our work together and my new found insight.

My gratitude to you cannot be expressed in words. I’ve realized an energy in life I didn’t know existed. I’ve connected with a faith I didn’t know was even there. You have opened my eyes and directed me in a new direction. I am content for the first time in my adult life, and excited to see where my future goes.

Thank you Nova for everything.

Truly,

Paul

(name changed for privacy)

Thank you for allowing me to share your words. I am grateful to be a part of your journey.

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Tips For Parents Of Teens

Posted by Life Coach Nova on October 18, 2009

Just when you got the parenting thing down, your child goes to sleep one night and wakes up an adolescent. Adolescence seems to happen overnight, bursting at the seems with emotions, drama, power struggles, and turmoil. A rebalancing act within the family structure to accommodate a budding adult can offer new parenting challenges.

How do you get through it?

First, develop an understanding that the developmental bridge between childhood and adulthood consisting of adolescence can be more painful and scary for your child than you. The destination of adulthood can be a vast land of unknown responsibilities accompanying that independence they are also pushing for.

Develop a plan and strategy to help guide you through adolescence with the optimal goal of serving your child’s independence, character, and confidence to smooth away the pressure from the outside world and gain peace within your home.

1. Foster a Solid Identity

Your child starts out incorporating their parents as equal parts of their identity. During adolescence differentiation begins where the individual begins the natural separation process from the parents and begins building there own identity. The differentiation process is critical to successful development, relationships, and adulthood. This can also be a wobbly time for your adolescent, literally filling up an empty identity tank.

As parents, this is your opportunity to foster a solid identity as your teen begins to form a separate, unique, and healthy identity. The more solid a teen’s identity, the greater their ability will be to push away peer pressure, handle challenging tasks, develop healthy coping skills, and keep a stable mood.

You can foster a solid identity by asking questions, and actively listening. Active Listening requires attention, leaning toward the person, and reflection. The intent is to listen and have the speaker feel heard and understood. Help your teen by engaging in conversations that solidify their identity and encouraging them to put into words their own personal experience and meaning in the world. A helpful hint: Pay great attention to the values and ideals you want to encourage and ask detailed questions. While your teen is forming their own unique identity, you can still guide them by your own congruency with family values and love.

2. Be a Fan

Be their greatest fan! Cheer on accomplishments, point out positive interactions and what your teen does well. Shift the focus from the turmoil of adolescence to the accomplishments and growth experiences of adolescence. The words, “I am proud of you,” can melt away tension, ground confidence and security, and just feels good to say and receive.

3. Set limits

Healthy boundaries are a must during adolescence and communicate care and concern. Helping your teen set goals with positive rewards will teach them self-initiative and pride. Consequences follow naturally in life when we don’t stay within the boundaries of the law, our employer, school, and relationships. Teach your teen with effective discipline by implementing appropriate consequences that are immediate, quick, and allows them to get back to life quickly. The goal remains to stay in a positive cycle with your teen, using failures and troubles as learning opportunities for personal growth.

For more tips on getting through adolescence don’t hesitate to utilize any resource available to help you and your child through the biggest transition in life. Just as quickly as childhood burst to adolescence, adulthood rounds the corner. Make the most out of your relationship with your teen by seeking support when needed.

Nova Reed, M.A., Life Coach
Step Stones For Life

Develop your plan to help your teen through adolescence, contact me for available Life Coaching packages to assist you and your teen develop a loving, respectful, and productive relationship. Visit www.StepStonesForLife.com, email me at Nova@StepStonesForLife.com or call 949.858.2442.

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The Five Stages Of Grief

Posted by Life Coach Nova on October 18, 2009

When you are dealing with the loss of a loved one emotions can come in waves. One moment you think you are fine, the next you are sobbing, angry and devastated. Taking time to understand your feelings and the stages of grief will help you cope, celebrate treasured memories, and move forward with life.

The Five Stages of Grief:

1. Denial
Shock and disbelief. You can’t believe they are gone. Are you sure? Is a typical question, needing to see or hear for yourself. This stage may last a few moments, days, or more.

2. Anger
Why did you leave me?! Hurt, feelings of abandonment, injustice, and loss surface. Anger may be directed toward the deceased, the world, or even yourself.

3. Bargaining
If I had only…thoughts circulate in your mind. This loss hurts, how could I have prevented this pain?

4. Depression
Feelings of numbness, inward anger, and intense sadness.

5. Acceptance
The dark cloud of anger, intense sadness and mourning begins to lift. The loss seems real, undeniable, and nonnegotiable.

There are many strong and uncomfortable feelings associated with grief. You may feel anger, abandonment, fear, guilt, and depression. Facing these intense emotions can be very difficult. Failing to work trough the five stages of grief is actually more stressful and strenuous on your body, mind, and spirit. The best way to work through grief is to face your feelings, do not try to hide how you feel, let it out. Healing will take place when you allow yourself to move through your feelings and all the stages of grief.

Reach out for support, get enough hugs, and know you are cared for.

With Care,

Life Coach Nova

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The Benefits Of Food Combining

Posted by Life Coach Nova on October 18, 2009

Food Combining is a healthy way of eating that allows you to eat until you are satisfied, burns fat, gives you more energy, and creates balance within your system. The principles of food combining are based on how Insulin works in your body. When you eat carbohydrates, your body breaks them down into glucose which elevates your blood sugar. Insulin balances your blood sugar by carrying glucose to your cells. When your cells get filled with sugar, they won’t accept anymore and the sugar is stored as fat. Insulin surges may leave you feeling tired, or down, lowers your concentration, and also increases cravings. Repeated Insulin surges may lead to Insulin Resistance which causes weight gain, mood swings, and disease.

Some carbohydrates raise the blood sugar more than others. Refined, processed carbohydrates, such as white rice, potato chips, and white flour, are much harder for your body to break down. Complex carbohydrates, such as whole grains, brown rice, and vegetables, cause minimal to moderate increases in your blood sugar. By cutting back on bad carbohydrates, you force your body to use fat reserves for energy which results in a healthier metabolism and balance.

The other source of energy our body uses are proteins and fats. Eaten alone, protein and fat do not raise Insulin levels. In order for your body to store fat, Insulin must be present. Our bodies need protein and good fats (unprocessed) for healthy cells, good skin, strong, lean muscles, concentration, and a stable mood. If you do not “combine” Protein/Fats with Carbohydrates, you will not store fat.
The purpose of Food Combining is to balance and regulate your body at its optimal level. The benefits are a lean body, increased energy, increased concentration, and elevated mood. Food Combining is not a diet. Diets are short-term and restrictive. Food Combining is a healthy way of eating that you can follow the rest of your life. Deciding to make a change in your Lifestyle takes effort, and some getting used to. Once you practice the concepts of Food Combining, break bad habits, and see the results, you will find the principles become second nature. A healthier you will emerge!

Notes and Summary:

*There are two Meal Choices:
1. Protein/Fats and Veggies
2. Carbs and Veggies

*Once your body becomes completely balanced, and you look and feel the way you like, you can start adding Carbohydrates in moderation to your Protein meals.

*ShapeWorks Shakes are meal replacements for either type of meal having both protein and good carbohydrates.

*Nuts are best eaten alone as they contain both protein and carbohydrates.

*Before beginning any change in eating habits, diet, or exercise always consult your physician.

By: Life Coach Nova Reed Copyright © Step Stones For Life 2009 Food Combining

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Spring Into Action

Posted by Life Coach Nova on October 18, 2009

Spring is a time of growth and renewal when new life bursts open with warmth and vitality. A chance to start anew, revive relationships, and energize your life. Plan your own fresh start by implementing three strategies of empowerment that will spring you toward a full and passionate life.

Make new goals to care for yourself. Try that Pilates class, take a walk during lunch, have a nutritious breakfast. Rather than focusing on taking away something, focus on adding in a new, healthy addition to your day. By focusing on improvement rather than deprivation, you are starting a positive, nurturing, and self-affirming cycle.

Challenge yourself to accomplish new things. Individuals who find challenges rewarding are hardier in facing obstacles in life. A natural resiliency builds from taking on stimulating challenges. A release of anti-stress hormones occurs through your body after completing a challenging task similar to exercise. Accomplishments make you feel good, energized, and generate positive motivation. Make the effort to expand yourself intellectually and emotionally. Read a new book, take on a new area in work, reach out of your usual comfort zone and try something new and exciting.

Start a Positive Cycle in your relationships. The language you use can persuade others to hear you and generate mutual understanding. Words are powerful. Focus on asking for what you do want, rather than what you don’t. When you use positive communication you are reinforcing your message by creating a visual of the behavior or action you’d like to see. Reinforce the positive qualities you enjoy in others by stating one unique affirmation a day. You will be met with gratitude, appreciation, and positive energy in return. By learning you can influence others, and generate the quality of relationship you would like, you will feel empowered, capable, and positive.

Go and blossom!

Warmly,

Life Coach Nova
Step Stones For Life

Email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Business: 949.858.2442

Step Stones For Life Copyright © 2008 All Rights Reserved including the right to reproduction in whole or in part of any form. This article may be forwarded with appropriate credits and contact information.

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Living Congruently With Your Soul

Posted by Life Coach Nova on October 18, 2009

Create Meaning and Purpose

1. Clear away “untruths”

Untruths comprise a limited self-definition of oneself inconsistent with your soul. They are by definition untrue to your soul. Untruths can be difficult for the individual to spot, but speak clearly through language. I look for untruths in my clients within the language that they use, such as I can’t, or I shouldn’t. Experiences of the past can reinforce untruths and quietly convince us we can’t accomplish our goals, find true love, or trust. By delving into the experiences that have somehow supported an untruth, while at the same time finding experiences that contradict this limited self-belief, the untruth becomes an apparent road block to burst through. Your soul has been waiting to plow through that road block, and has been providing you clues to investigate the validity of your pain, frustration, and unhappiness. Happiness is living congruently with your soul, serving your purpose, and reaching your destiny. Make the decision to break free from hindering self-doubt, conformity, and hesitation. Clear the way for your soul.

2. Clear away physical congestion

Physical Congestion results from imbalance – emotional, physical, and spiritual. Physical symptoms of stress such as headaches muscle pains, and fatigue are flashing red lights to take notice and care for yourself. Exercise in moderation filtered into your daily routine provides a sure way to address imbalance and clear the way for positive energy. Diet remains a hot issue in our society, and fad diets have hit an all time high. Here’s the key when seeking to live congruently with your soul: Moderation – simple, effective, and doable. Feed your soul with foods that will comfort you physically. Now this is a trick sentence, as processed foods we tend to think of as “comfort” food, do not comfort you physically, but rather poison our body’s natural ability to metabolize and burn our food as fuel. Comfort food in my book comforts your body naturally by increasing serotonin levels in the brain, giving you more energy, and satiating hunger. Don’t leave your soul hungry! What do you eat? My rule of thumb is…anything that God makes is OK to eat, whole grains, natural proteins, veggies, and fruit. Protein has been a focus of study after study, finding that our bodies need protein to maintain health, mentally and physically. Eat small meals frequently throughout the day rather than three large meals. Focus on eating to live rather than living to eat.

3. Listen to your soul

Once you have cleared the way, your soul will speak more clearly. The voice will sound like a familiar whisper of intuition, a nudge in the right direction. And when you listen, well, I get chills. Your body will signal when you get it right. Your life will signal when you are listening to your soul. Your relationships will improve, your outlook on life will be brighter, and your whole being will be at peace. You may not be consciously aware you are moving in the right direction until you reach a milestone which signals your arrival of success. Staying on your path takes work, so when you feel off balance – stop – and refocus. Follow the steps above again until you find your path to fulfillment once again. The more you focus on living congruently with your soul, the brighter your path will become. The brighter your path becomes, the more detailed your preferred life will become. The more detailed your preferred life, the richer your experience in the world becomes. The richer your experience in the world, the more meaning you find in your life. The more meaning you have in your life, the greater your purpose becomes…and you become congruent with your soul.

Here’s to your journey!

Comments? Questions? Please feel free to post your comments or questions at the bottom of the page. We all learn and grow from each other.

Author: Nova Reed, M.A., Life Coach
Website: www.StepStonesForLife.com

You can contact Nova by email: Nova@StepStonesForLife.com
Or Call: 949-858-2442

*Consult your physician before beginning any exercise routine or modifying your diet, especially if you have been inactive or have health concerns.

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